This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
