either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
