That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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