a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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