she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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