You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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