I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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