Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
