I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
