he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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