I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
