I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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