Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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