meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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