no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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