FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
