Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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