The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
