Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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