At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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