I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize