We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
