I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
