Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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