Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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