When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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