She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize