I'm jealous of your bromance
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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