His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
