I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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