while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
