I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
