we should wear snuggies to the strip club
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You pole danced in your parka.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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