It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
