It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
