no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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