I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
