And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
