So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
