they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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