did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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