one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
