How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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