That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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