I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize