She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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