Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
