I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize