i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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