Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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