u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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