I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
