first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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