the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
