well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
either way he was missing a nipple.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
