She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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