So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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