you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think i got beer on your cat.
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