Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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